And it's goodbye from me...

My final poem as Laureate was a tear-jerking affair. Finalists were said to have abandoned their books to bid me a weeping farewell, maidens tore at their hair and throughout the JCR there was a great wailing and gnashing* of teeth. As I solemnly intoned my final words in office, the entire room sat silent and grave, not daring to believe that the halcyon days of my Laureateship were over. But over they were, and as I walked quietly from the JCR that fateful summer's evening, it's said that a single tear ran down the golden cheek of the Pelican. In such a spirit of solemnity, I entrust this blog to Tom, its new incumbent. He does English, which should help with the words and shit, and seems a jolly nice chap. So here goes.

atque in perpetuum, JCR, ave atque vale


When Presidents pillage the Peli Post’s presses
When students succumb to their scholarly stresses
The JCR Member who seeks their redress is
The Poet.

When moulding the motions for JCR meetings
And beating the time with his lyrical bleatings
Who sends out the summons, who starts off the meetings?
The Poet.

When clustered in hustings to elect the ‘Committee’
What role was contested with verbal dexterity -
Who did Corpucles elect to replace me
As Poet?

As Catullus to Virgil, Propertius to Ovid
From lyrical nonsense to something more solid
Beestone’s succeeded by Anthony Collins
As Poet.

So Anthony now holds the lyrical reigns
And takes on this job – and in the same vein
May his lyrics be lauded! Long may he reign
As Poet

So I bid you adieu, I sign off at last
My year in this office thus swiftly is past
But I’m writing the Corpiad – this isn’t my last
As Poet.

*gnashing is that sound the coffee machine makes when it's out of beans